A compilation of my favorite Hetalia fan fics, mostly from the Hetalia Kink Meme. This is an unfinished list.
The Principle of Contagion
Plot: America has been subconsciously suppressing his magical powers. They suddenly explode out of him and England has to clean up the mess.
Why you should read it: It’s everything you could want in a fic. It’s funny, smart, and sexy. It’s also not super long.
Oh God, I want to be dreaming. I’m gonna explode. I’m all … Ha ha! I dunno. I have to make up words to describe it. Fulmous. Nngh,” America moaned into the seat, long and low.
“Fulmous.” England froze, because the temperature of America’s skin had just doubled. Tripled. In a matter of half-seconds. He realized his own fingers were still fondling America’s fair hair with some zeal. He halted their roving ways and pretended to dig in his pockets.
“Yeah. Gravital. Lumenive. Why’d you stop touching me? Let’s have sex.”
Warnings: smut, magical rituals
London Bridge (WIP)
Plot: England thinks he’s unlovable. The story goes back through history to explain why.
Why you should read it: It’s smart and emotional all at once. This isn’t England crying to himself saying “nobody loves me”. This is an epic, filled with literary and historical references that require pages of author’s notes and that somehow fit seamlessly into the text. It’s subtle and complex and will make your heart hurt at least once. Also Oscar Wilde and Winston Churchill make fantastic and very IC appearances.
Arthur has feelings (despite what Francis says) and needs (despite what former conquerors insisted) and wants (despite what Arthur himself would have others believe). He can’t help but desperately wonder, sometimes
Yond Ludwig has a lean and hungry look, he thinks too much; such men are dangerous. The weight of what may or may not be Ludwig’s complicity these past thirty years insolently idles on his shoulders, burrows down deep into the knots in his muscles.
He dreams of the day when it is he who masters the sea, when it is he who sails across the ocean and changes history. One day he will dispense measure for measure, fire for fire.
Darts of Pleasure
Plot: America gets Arthur drunk so he will sleep with him.
Why you should read it: see what I wrote about the plot above. Yeah? Disregard it. That’s the plot but it doesn’t scratch the surface of what the fic is about. This is one of my favorite fics period. It weaves all these complex ideas about desire and desperation into these beautiful scenes. The smut is breathtaking and the emotions surrounding the two of them are complicated and heart-wrenching. There is no way I can adequately express how beautiful this is. Just read it.
Memorable lines: “Sometimes I like to think it didn’t happen.” Arthur doesn’t know what compels him to speak, but he can’t stop himself from adding, “That none of it ever happened.”
There is a pause during which Alfred continues to look down, his middle finger still swirling around the glass lip, charming forth and sustaining an exquisitely eerie note. It lingers in the air for a moment when he lifts he finger away. When at last Alfred looks up into Arthur’s eyes, his expression is neutral. “Maybe it never did,” he says. “Maybe it was all a terrible, beautiful dream.”
It is dangerous to mistake Alfred for an angel, because Alfred is here on earth. He’s right there. He’s right here.
Alfred smiles. And then that radiance is touching Arthur’s lips, slipping into his mouth, and he tastes Alfred’s unbridled enthusiasm, his wildness bright and dark.
The Movement of Language (WIP)
Plot: Alfred Jones is a science teacher and Arthur Kirkland is an English teacher. They have wacky exploits.
Why you should read it:. It hits the nice note between serious and cracky and manages to make me laugh out loud with pretty much every update. A perfectly characterized ensemble cast and great pacing make this totally worth your time.
The infamous English teacher Arthur (never Artie, oh dear sweet Heavens, no) Kirkland, also in his second year of working at the school, He Who Must Not Be Disturbed.
“Yup! Artie,” God damn him it’s Arthur, “and I get along like a house on fire.” Things get burnt. Burnt to death. Weren’t they supposed to be arguing?
Alfred swears he’s going to leave Kiku eating dust, but Kiku has to ‘respectfully disagree with that course of action,’ which is totally just his super-polite way of saying ‘bring it on.’
Ivan – oh, what the fuck? Ivan pouts. “You should be kinder, I think, to people whose cupboards you’re residing in.”
Only if You’re The Problem - Operation Maple Sandwich:Canada/Ukraine/Netherlands -
Cute and fluffy yet simultaneously really hot, the fic is one of my favorites. Canada is in love with both Ukraine and Netherlands but does nothing because he doesn’t want anyone to get hurt. Awkwardness ensues when Netherlands and Ukraine realize this but then they get talking and….well basically smut happens!
Memorable line: He bit his lip against a stifled whimper, and wished his shirt gone, to feel warmth and dampness directly on his skin, and also that someone would stop and tell him what exactly was going on and when it had been decided that it was Molest Canada With Syrup Time.
Warnings: Smut, threesome, food kink
the drift & flutter of a maple leaf on an early autumn breeze - Canada/US/UK
This is one of those fics that are more than just fan fiction. The premise is basically that Arthur and Alfred start screwing in front of Matthew and then invite him to join in but it’s so more than that. It’s subtly crafted and intense yet it’s still completely about the sex. It’s not long but it weaves a dream-like mood. Seriously, you should read this one.
Memorable line: He doesn’t smile when he says it, doesn’t smile in the wake of the word, and Arthur doesn’t smile either. But Arthur says yes, and Alfred smiles enough for all three of them.
Warnings: smut, threesome, minor daddy kink
Short but Sweet
What Happiness Is - FrUk
Less than a page but incredibly powerful. Arthur is a king and Francis is his lover.
Memorable line: Francis, for whom he will gladly burn in hell.
Warnings: fairly non-explicit smut, adultery
Iceland fantasizes about all the dirty things he wants to do to Sweden. Smut that never happens has never been so hot.
Memorable line: because to hell with tentative lovers when he’s waited so damn long
Warnings: imagined smut
Round Two- Turkey/Greece
Turkey thinks about his relationship with Greece and how he wants it to change and also rants about Cyprus and other nations. It’s delightfully in-character (Turkey is still an asshole) but it’s also touching.
Memorable line: Sorry for making ethnic tension problems. Sorry for killing people. Sorry for being a Muslim bastard. I promise I’m better now. Let’s be friends.
Warnings: language, implied smut, mentions of violence